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雅思寫作大作文范文分析-動物園的意義

來源:新航道 瀏覽:0 發布日期:2020-03-04 16:20

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題目:


Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion


翻譯:有些人認為動物園很殘忍,應該被關閉。但也有人認為動物園在保護野生動物方面是有用的。討論雙方并給出自己的看法。

話題:社會類-動物保護

類型:雙邊討論類


分析:這道動物園的題目是真題,且往年考過多次,在野生動物保護熱議的今天,雅思復考后,也很有可能出現,建議大家提前做好準備。


拿到這個題目,我們首先審題,在審題時要格外注意,題目中的限制性信息。比如,請大家思考:若這個題目兩個主體段,一段寫動物園的好處,一段寫動物園的弊端,對不對?


不完全正確,如果泛泛的討論動物園的advantages  & disadvantages 很有可能會跑題,因為這一題目中,好處這一邊明確的為大家規定了:Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. 


這就叫限制性信息,限制大家在寫好處時,一定要圍繞著保護野生動物這一點進行討論,不要去說其它的好處。這一點請大家一定要注意,否則會偏題哦。


同樣的,在動物園討論弊端時,其實大家也需要注意,題目中說道:zoos are all cruel and should be closed down.


有cruel這個詞,也就意味著我們所以關于弊端的探討都應圍繞著動物園怎么殘忍了去討論,而不應該寫如:去動物園的很多都是小孩,小孩可能會誤伸手進老虎的圍欄里而有危險這樣的點,這樣就又偏題了。 


好,說完審題的注意事項,咱們再來看看構思:


Animal welfare is a growing concern in today's society. 在西方國家,更是有很多游說群體(lobby groups – 雅思閱讀中出現過的詞匯) 勸導大眾保護動物。在雅思主辦方British Council自己的英語學習網站中,其實就曾經就這一話題進行過一些討論,大橘給大家整理一些觀點,大家可以借鑒。


首先我們來看看,支持動物園殘忍的點:


點1:侵犯動物權利


It is cruel to remove animals from their natural habitat(自然棲息地) and keep them in cages(籠子) for the public to look at. 


It is a breach(違背) of an animal's natural rights to take it into captivity(囚禁) and thus deprive (剝奪)it of the ability to carry out its evolutionarily established social and instinctual behaviors.


點2:動物可能會不適應環境


An animal kept in a zoo will lead a different life to an animal that lives in the wild,for example zoos feature(以…為特色)animals from places all over the world and animals must therefore adjust to different climates and seasons, depending on the location of the zoo in relation to where the animal comes from.


(動物園的動物來自世界各地,很多動物不一定適應當地氣候季節)


點3:動物在動物園中活動空間實在有限 (點2和3可以歸納為動物會suffer-危害健康)


Animals are inevitably(不可避免的) confined(限制,緊閉) in enclosures(圍場,封閉空間) far smaller than their native habitats, and that this is detrimental(有害的) to their health and well being.


動物園可以保護野生動物的點:


點1:動物園可以為野生動物提供更好的醫療條件:


Hard-working zoologists understand the needs of wild animals and provide the right food and care for them. When a wild animal gets sick, these experts know what treatments and medicines to give them in order to help them get better.


點2:動物園會開展一些保護野生動物的項目


Conservation is another way in which zoos help wild animals and the environment. Many have specific programs or centres that work to preserve and protect endangered species.


點3:外面也很危險:


Due to threats such as poaching(非法捕獵), there are arguably many species which would be extinct if they weren't kept in zoos.


所以我們看到動物園如果能提供很好的環境,能夠根據不同野生動物的生活習性為它們提供合理的生活環境,不必和天敵競爭,也不必忍痛挨餓的野生動物也許可以活的更長更好。最后給大家一句來自RealClear Science的話:“Natural” isn't always better for an animal's health. The natural world can be a very cruel one indeed.


All right, Let’s 看精選范文吧(范文更傾向于于關閉動物園)


范文:


Zoos remain popular places for people to visit for entertainment and to learn about wild animals(看,開頭句就強有力的點題,告訴考官,我看到wild animals這個關鍵詞了). Although some people are of the opinion that zoos can provide a sanctuary(名詞:避難所) for endangered animals and so should be kept open, I believe that the cruelty(點題) that animals suffer outweighs this benefit, and that they should be shut down. 


(兩句話:引入話題+引出觀點,大家看雙邊討論型文章開頭就特別適合讓步狀語從句,Although 反方是這么認為的(雙邊中的一方), 我不同意我的觀點是(雙邊中另外一方))


These days, animals are under threat from(承受來自…的威脅) humans in many ways(地道表達), seen for example in the way that their habitats are being destroyed through the cutting down of rain forests, or through poaching.(這個句子的句型值得學習哦,Nowadays, xxx怎么樣了in many ways, seen for example in the way that +支撐觀點的例子) Following on from this, the argument is that zoos can protect some of these animals that are under threat. The reason is that they are in a safe environment managed by trained staff who can ensure the animals are looked after and can produce offspring (注意句子的構成,包含了很多元素:分詞修飾,定從修飾以及并列-你自己寫句子時可參照模仿,融入多元素- 句子并不長,但語法成分多,分數一定不低且不會造成閱讀障礙,太長的句子容易造成理解困難,不要過度追求長難句). There are examples of successes in this respect, such as with Pandas(非常好,還具體舉例了), which have been endangered for many years but have been protected.


(即便作者的觀點是應該關停,但作為雙邊討論的文章必不可少的,依然要把雙邊觀點都充分議論道,切不可指討論己方觀點)


However, there are more convincing arguments(好搭配,記下來,在你的文章中用起來) for why zoos should be shut down. Firstly, even though some species are under threat(回應上一段), there are lots of animals which do not fall into this category and who are there just for the entertainment of visitors. While it may be fun and educational to see them, animals are not meant to be caged, and their distress can often be seen in the way many of them pace back and forwards all day(此處指動物成天在動物園里走來走去,展現出一種焦慮感…). Not only this, if the prime reason(主要原因,好搭配記下來) of zoos is to protect animals, this could be done in other environments such as wild life parks where the animals have more freedom.


(作者自己方的觀點-有一些動物并不面臨著失去生活家園或被捕殺,他們被帶到動物園,完全是為了取悅大眾)


In conclusion, animals should be protected but this does not have to be in zoos. Zoos are cruel to animals, not similar enough to(和…并不相似) their natural habitat, and they should be closed down. 


(結尾段:重申觀點,扣題)


好啦,以上就是咱們今天的題目解析及范文分析哦,希望大家都能從中得到啟發。


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